Too many times women are put into nice, neat little boxes. Too many times we put ourselves into those boxes. We conform to what society says we should be and how we should look. We conform to what men say we should be and how we should look. And most importantly, we conform to what other women say we should be and how we should look.
It’s a sad cycle. Instead of walking around, the epitome of ourselves, we conform to those around us. To our boyfriends, to our girlfriends, to our favorite celebrities. We’re tricked into believing that another’s approval give us confidence. You may have amazing friends or a partner in your life that gives you a much needed boost from time to time, but if you don’t have that inner confidence, that fierceness every woman needs to shine, then you’re in for “the search.” The never-ending search for better: better clothes, better hair, a better boyfriend, a better job. Who wants to live like that?
We should empower ourselves to be ourselves. We should live as ourselves, in the fiercest way possible. How do we do that?
1. We get to know ourselves. Take time for yourself. Every week, every day .. to think for yourself, without any outside gobbledygook. Don’t ask your husband what he thinks. Don’t just agree with your friends. If you like the damn lime green shirt, wear the damn lime green shirt because it makes you happy. Not because you think it’ll get you attention, but because it makes you feel good. Find your own way before you take others along.
2. We are kind. Fierce doesn’t mean abrasive, brash, selfish, egocentric, conceited or self-centered. Fierce is simply having the strength to be yourself without anyone else pulling at the ropes. Fierce is being kind. It’s picking up a $5 bill that someone dropped at the mall and giving it back to them, it’s holding the door for the elderly couple behind you or even the delusional teenagers on their first date who don’t say thank you. It’s being kind because it feels good and not because you have to.
3. We laugh. No more frowns, no more constant complaints. When something incredibly annoying or awful happens, just laugh about it. Find the humor in the worst scenarios and give a big hearty laugh. After a long day, you come home and realize the garbage man demolished your mailbox, just laugh. When you’re late to a big meeting at work, catch your hose on a door hinge and they rip, just laugh. You look better, you feel better and no one has to endure the constant grumble from the girl who sits in cubicle 4.
photo credit via Beautiful You by Julie