It is inevitable that it will happen at some point in time while raising a daughter; she will be left out of the clique she was part of for a long period of time. When this happens, she will be heartbroken and at a loss for what to do next, especially if she was part of that clique for very long. This is where you come in as her mother. You can help to guide her through this loss of friendship and help her to find a new friend or group of friends.
It will not help her to tell her that it isn’t a big deal or that it will all be alright. She more than likely feels like it will never again be alright. What is better is to tell her that you understand her feelings. Tell her about a time that you faced a similar situation in your growing up years, when you were left out of the clique. Telling her at that point that you went on to make other friends can be encouraging. Allow her some time to be sad.
Encourage her to branch out and make new friends. Let her know that the girls she is no longer friends with are not the only possibilities for friendships within reach. Suggest other girls that she might strike up a friendship with. Remind her that she is absolutely allowed to invite them over or to go to their home. Tell her that you will be glad to take them on outings such as to the movies and the mall.
It might be a good idea for her to take up a new activity such as soccer or dance lessons. It doesn’t really matter what it is as long as it is an activity where she can meet new girls and have possibilities to make friendships. She will be part of a new clique in no time and your daughter will be herself once again.
Image Credit: Start Empathy