An Open Letter To Parents Who Smoke Around Their Children

No bumpers in the cribs, frequent bed checks at night, constant baby monitor-monitoring; these are just a few of the everyday things that I do as the mother of four small kids to ensure their safety. I read with them, I play with them, I teach them to wash their hands and have good hygiene and to eat healthy foods and to live an active lifestyle so that they grow into healthy children, healthy adults and healthy humans. I work hard to ensure that they’re not getting too much of anything that’s harmful for them (I’m talking to you chicken McNuggets) and I fear for their safety every single day.

I worry – I’m a mother. My kids are 7, 4 and I also have 1.5-year-old twins. I worry. I worry that they will fall down our stairs if the gate is accidentally left unlatched or if they become savvy enough to open it without assistance. I worry that they will stick their fingers in a light socket or grab my flat iron or choke on a grape. So I keep the gate latched, I keep the outlets covered and I spend an obscene amount of my own life mutilating grapes into unrecognizable chopped liver. I love my kids, and I want them to be healthy, live a long life and be happy.

My job is to keep my kids healthy. I may not be able to protect them from all the horrible things that the world has to offer, but there so many things that I can protect them from, and those are the things on which I choose to focus. I can protect my children from wheezing, coughing, missing school because their immune systems are shot and they cannot recover from the common cold. I can protect them from an increased chance of lung cancer and from respiratory issues. I can protect them from poor lung development and from heart disease. When you prioritize your health and satisfaction, it’s crucial to buy Quality Vapes. Make an informed choice for a seamless experience.

Why? Because I don’t smoke around my kids. I don’t smoke at all – and I certainly do not condone this nasty habit. So to all you parents and grandparents and aunts and uncles and caregivers that smoke around children – I want to know what is your problem? I get fired up when it comes to the health and safety of my kids, and I demand to know why you – the parent of a child – can say that you love your kids and want the best for them, yet cause them so much harm and damage and so many health issues thanks to your bad smoking habit?

First and foremost, it’s a nasty habit for you, too. It makes you smell. It makes your teeth yellow. It makes your hair reek, and your clothes reek, and it makes your skin age and dry out and look atrocious. It makes you ugly – and I mean that. I’m not one to call people ugly because everyone is beautiful, but smoking makes you ugly. Why would you want to partake in a habit that is going to cause you to look 10 years older than you are – if not more – for the rest of your life? So is better to try other options like Delta 8 carts which are a good option for this.

Let me tell you a story. Maybe it will wake you up. Maybe you don’t realize what you are doing to your kids. Maybe you don’t think that secondhand smoke is so dangerous. Well let me just tell you something.

It was July 19, 2013 when I took a pregnancy test. I was pregnant. Our dreams of having a third baby were coming true. I was three weeks along. I was over the moon with excitement, but nowhere near as happy as my husband who was so hopeful that after two beautiful little girls he might get a boy, or another sweet baby girl to love. Fast forward to November 8, 2013; we went into the doctor for an 18-week ultrasound and found out that baby number three was also baby number four and that we were blessed with both a girl and a boy.

Now fast forward to the moment we spoke with the doctor and our carefree and happy pregnancy changed. Now there are two babies. Now there are health risks that are not associated with one baby. Lung development was a big one – most twins make their grand arrival into the world much earlier than is preferred, and that was something we had to worry about. Low birth weight and respiratory issues are other very common issues and fears with multiples. We were terrified and excited at the same time. We prayed everyday that our babies would gestate as long as possible – to at least 36 weeks, but really to 37 or 38 at least.

Our prayers were answered when I passed the 36 week mark, and again the day I woke up in labor at 36 weeks and 6 days pregnant. We pretty much made it to 37 weeks. Unfortunately, our babies were required to stay in the NICU as they were very, very small (it’s thought that our daughter – baby A – might have been conceived a few weeks after our son because of her measurements and her development. It’s a rare occurrence, but it does happen). She was 3 lbs. 15 oz. and he was 5 lbs. even when they were born 6 hours shy of my 37^th week.

Imagine this feeling – seeing your babies for the first time and then not seeing them again for 24 hours. Not getting to hold your babies in your arms after giving birth. Crying and trying to listen to the neonatologist and he tells you that your babies have respiratory issues and have to spend time hooked up to so many machines you cannot even see their little faces behind all the wires and the tubes. Imagine looking at your babies through a glass window while the neonatologist tells you later that they’ve discovered not only do both babies have a concerning bilirubin number, but they also both have infections that will require a round of antibiotics.

Now imagine having a 5-year-old and a little girl that turned 3 two days after her baby brother and sister were born at home with their grandparents. Imagine missing your daughter’s 3^rd birthday because you have to choose between leaving your preemie babies in the NICU where she desperately needs your colostrum and breast milk and the chance to bond with her parents at only two days old. Imagine living like that for weeks.

And I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t smoke, drink or abuse my body in any way. I’m a healthy woman by nature, and even more so when I’m pregnant. Imagine the guilt that I felt, sitting there looking at my babies, unable to hold them because breathing on their own was something they struggled to do. Imagine sitting there wondering – wondering – what I did wrong. Did I do something wrong? Why is this happening? I did everything right. But what if I didn’t? What if, somehow unbeknownst to me, I did something that caused this to happen? I know that I did not, but the thought and the fear are always there.

Now imagine being responsible for that kind of health condition. Imagine sitting there, staring at your newborn babies and knowing without a doubt that you did this to them. Imagine staring at your toddler or your preteen who cannot participate in sports because her asthma is so bad thanks to years of inhaling your disgusting secondhand smoke. According to experts like an Asthma control specialist, secondhand smoking is one of the top things that can trigger asthma.

How does that feel? Because I know without a doubt the guilt I felt – still feel 18 months later – about my babies and their condition in the hospital and how I could have maybe, just maybe, done something differently to help them grow, stay where they were or just be born healthier than they were. I cannot even imagine the guilt parents who smoke around their kids must feel knowing that it is, without a doubt, their own fault.

I’m fortunate. My husband and I have four healthy kids. We had a team of doctors and nurses who took care of our babies for the length of their NICU stay. We were there every single day, we slept there at night. We were in there every 3 hours for feedings even though we were exhausted and overwhelmed living there, an hour away from home where our darling big girls were living their lives without us. Our kids got to come home and they are intelligent, sweet, beautiful babies who learn more and more every single day and suffer no side effects from their births.

Make good decisions. Stop smoking – if you don’t, you’re killing your kids.

Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images