10 Reasons the Disney Cruise Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

Disney Magic

I’ll be quite honest with you from the start; I’m not a fan of cruises. Okay, there; I said it. I’d rather spend my time in a five star resort with actual good food and a beautiful view and not crammed on a ship. Even the nicest ships of any cruise line are not that luxurious in comparison to actual hotels or even home. They’re fine, but they’re still cruise ships. They’re small and cramped and there are so many people on them, and cruise ship bathrooms are the worst. My favorite cruise line, without a doubt, is Disney. But I think that even Disney cruises are a bit overrated for a variety of reasons. Perhaps it’s my lack of love of cruises that motivates me to say it, but it’s my honest opinion.

I might be jaded as a born and raised Floridian. We live less than two hours from three ports, and weekend cruises are something we do quite regularly. It’s a fun and quick group getaway, but it’s not something my husband and I would choose to do alone. We will take the kids and we will go with a group of friends, but that’s about it. But on that note, if you’re planning a cruise, I’d advise you just to go to your intended destination and stay in a nice hotel. I do understand that a cruise is a great way to see a number of places for very little cost and that it’s such a budget-friendly vacation option. However, you should still know that taking a Disney cruise means that you’re going to have a few moments of “Seriously?” on board the ships.

It’s Expensive

A 3 might Disney cruise leaving Port Canaveral and heading to the Bahamas for my family (not including my 16-month-old twins) cost $4000 for a regular room. We could have booked the same cruise through Royal Caribbean for less than $1000 total and had just as much fun since we rarely ever stay on the ship. I’m just saying that while the cruise is great for kids, the price is by far too much money for a cruise. Really; it’s ridiculous.

Younger Kids have Less Fun

As long as your kids are three and up, they can go to the Disney kids floor and have the time of their lives. But kids younger than three, even by a few months, are forced to go to a small room with very few options and nowhere near the space. It’s crowded and crazy. And sure, you did bring your kids on this cruise to enjoy time with them, but sometimes you want a massage or an hour to yourself, and it makes you feel bad to put your small kids in that crowded little room.

The Food is Never Good Enough

I’ve said this a thousand times, and I’ll say it again; I don’t understand people who think that cruise ship food is amazing. It’s not. No matter what ship you’re on, what line you’re on, cruise ship food is never good. And let’s be honest; when was the last time you went to Disney and had an amazing meal? You didn’t; that’s right. I’ve a born and raised Floridian and Disney is an hour from my house, meaning I’ve been more times than I could ever count and I’ve yet to come home and say, “Man, I had the best food at Disney today.” Mickey Mouse ice cream ears not included.

It’s Crowded

It’s Disney, people. It’s the most crowded cruise line around. And you always feel claustrophobic.

Long Lines

Despite what you might think, you don’t get to skip the lines and meet the characters on a ship. You are on a boat, but you might as well be at the park so that after you wait forever to meet your favorite characters you can at least ride a fun ride. But nope; you’re on a ship and that is not an option.

The Pool Situation is Less than Ideal

Disney ships mean one thing; you get two small pools. And I mean small. They’re a lot smaller than any of the pools on any other cruise line on which I’ve ever been. And they are never open at the same time. That means you have 6,000 people trying to swim in one pool that’s about the size of a small SUV at the same time. That does not make for much fun.

Cruise Ships just aren’t luxurious

Again, it’s like cruise ship food. When people say that they were in a luxury ship, I laugh. The Four Seasons is luxurious. A Disney cruise is a ship with ship-ly rooms and stuff. It’s not luxurious. It might be bigger than other rooms or have more to do, but that does not make it more luxurious. Cruises, friends, are not for people looking for the finest of all things travel related.

Fewer Adult-Friendly Options than you Might Think

The cruise line operates on the motto that there is just as much fun for adults as there is for kids. Sure, if you love to watch your kids have fun and live life on the edge of their seats, you will. And trust me when I say that my kids have a wonderful time on these cruises and they love it. And I love that. But that does not necessarily encompass the realm of “amazing” for adults that I might expect when I spend this kind of money.

Fun Days at Sea

I really, really, really do not think that fun days at sea are fun. There are too many people trying to use too few amenities and everyone is grouchy because of it.

It’s Just Not as Magical as the Parks

There is nothing like a Disney park. The cruise line does their best to make sure that you feel the same kind of magic that you do at Disney, but you just don’t. Sorry, but you don’t. There is no magic like there is at the Magic Kingdom.

Photo by David Roark/Disney via Getty Images

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