Tiffany Raiford
Spicy food is not for the weak hearted. In fact, it’s not for a lot of people. But there are those who love spicy food so much they eat it nonstop and those who consume spicy foods in mass quantities for the simple fact that they are at the end of a long pregnancy and heard that they could spontaneously induce their labor by eating a bunch of spicy goodness. And then there are people that don’t care much for spicy food – those people might be a bit questionable (Sure, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but that’s like saying you don’t like puppies or kittens). If you’re a spicy food lover, there are a few things in life you will understand that others simply will not. It happens. It’s almost like an inside joke among spicy food lovers; you get it and other people do not. The only real question here is whether or not you find these things humorous or kind of annoying. It’s up to you, so we’ll let you figure that one out on your own.
No One Likes Your Cooking
That’s just too bad for them and their bland taste buds. Who cares if they don’t like your cooking? You like it and it’s that good; their opinions are invalid.
No One Asks you to Bring Anything
It’s fine when everyone else is asked to bring a dish for game night and you’re not. You’ll just think of creative new ways to make spicy stuff you love while everyone else is just enjoying their bland food and their kitchen slavery before the big evening.
Your Fridge Shelves are Full
Of hot sauce; that is. You can’t fit mayo in there because you’d have to get rid of some hot sauce, and that’s not happening in a million years.
You Order Everything “Extra Spicy”
You know that when you order something spicy at a restaurant, you’re going to instruct the wait staff to make it extra spicy. Then you’re going to ask them to bring hot sauce because you know it’s not going to be spicy enough.
There’s Never Enough Spice
There is never a time in your life in which you find something spicy enough. It never is, and it probably never will be. The real issue here is that other people just don’t know what they are doing and you’re going to have to do it yourself.
Restaurants Have to Replace Hot Sauce when You Leave
Please refer to the above referenced statement. There is never food hot or spicy enough, which means you are using all the spice when you go out to make your food as good as it can be.
Sweet is Not an Option
Sweet and spicy? Um, no; how about spicy and spicy? No one likes to waste their time on that sweet stuff when there is clearly spice to be had in the world. Go ahead, forget the sweet. Go with the spice; you know you want to.
When Someone Forgets the Hot Sauce…
You are on fire; and not in a good and spicy way. Now you have to wait for them to bring it to the table when they feel the need. Or you have to sit down at someone’s house and suffer because they have not hot sauce. It’s disgusting.
All Regular Food is Bland
It’s just not good. Cereal is better with hot sauce. Forget cream in your coffee; you’ll take some Tabasco sauce. It’s just how life was meant to work.
Your Friends Think You’re a Freak
Who cares what they think anyway? If they don’t understand you or at least pretend to understand you, you don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Get rid of them and replace them with hot sauce. They’re so much spicier.
You Consider Food on Fire to be Good Food
If someone brought you a burger that was literally in flames from the grill, you’d love it. In fact, there has been more than one occasion during which you’ve assumed you’d make one heck of a fire swallowing circus performer.
No One Steals Food Off Your Plate
And finally; something good about loving spicy food occurs. People will never, ever try to take the food off your plate because they are terrified of it. The only people even remotely interested in your food are those who also love spicy food, and then you have to guard your own like it’s the crown jewels.
Your Friends Love to Tell New People to Try Your Food
You don’t love when other people are all up in your plate and in your stuff, but you do kind of love when your friends encourage someone new to the group to try your amazing dish. You know what’s going to happen. They know what’s going to happen, and some poor, unsuspecting soul is about to get the worst surprise of his or her life and you’re going to enjoy every second of it. There’s one less person who will dare steal food from you again. Or else they’ll love it and you’ll have located your soul mate.
Your Friends Wonder if You have Taste Buds
You do have taste buds. How else would you know that your food is only good when it’s so spicy that you feel fire in your esophagus? I mean, let’s be real; your taste buds have probably been affected in a way that might not be so good for you, but that doesn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things, does it?
You can Make Everything Spicy
You really can make any and everything in the world spicy. You can make chocolate chip cookies spicy. You can make ice cream burn. You have a unique and amazing talent many do not understand and others admire with great envy. Hold on to this talent. It’s not something that just anyone can accomplish, and it’s something that you’ll need if you plan on enjoying life for longer than just the moment.
Photo by Christopher Lee/Getty Images
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