Coffee lovers come in a lot of stripes, those who will simply tell you that it’s what they have always used to wake up in the morning. Then there are the aficionados, those who can tell you everything you ever wanted to know–and probably a lot that you didn’t–want to know about coffees. It’s probably a good guess that most of us are in the middle, those who use it primarily like a defibrillator in a cup to jump-start you into your morning, with another cup or two ease us into the rhythm of our day. For most of us, one coffee brand is as good or as bad as any other. After all, the caffeine is there regardless of the brand we choose to numb our psyches around. It’s the elitists of the world that have ruined it for the rest of us with their coronations of such brand names as Starbucks, resulting in price hikes for all of us, regardless of the brand we consume.
The trouble with all of this is that every time somebody in Seattle decides to increase the prices of their brand they do it, without any reason other than to fuel their elitism, as well as to fatten their pocketbook. Unfortunately, this often results in higher prices even for those whose coffees have no reason other than the fact that they are coffees to hike the prices of their brews. The trouble with these is that in certain cases there is no reason to increase the price of their coffees since there is no word in the lexicon to describe their product other than “bad.”
You should make sure that you understand that “bad” is an important word to define here. After all, what is bad to me might not be bad to you. Further, what might be considered bad coffee to you might not even be in your market, so whether I define it as bad or not is irrelevant since you couldn’t find it to try on a bad day anyway. As a result, the list of 25 of the worst coffees available that follows does not follow any particular formula for what is bad. It’s just that some of the brands included are so so transcendentally bad it makes us fear not only for the condition of coffee in this country but for the country itself.