Three Things You’ll Regret in Life and How Not to Regret Them

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We all have a birthday; I have a birthday month, really. I mean, it’s not my personal choice to have a birthday month, but when the last day of September is the day you were born and you have kids who will do anything to ensure they get something special most every single day, you get a birthday month. Anytime they go to the store with daddy, they bring me a cookie, or a candy bar, or my favorite whatever. They make me cards and signs, and they tell me things like “Happy 4 more days until your birthday, mommy!” on the regular. I get a birthday month, because my kids are trying to remind me that there is a day in this particular month in which there better be cake.

I’ll take it. September is the year of 33 for me. I’m not someone who is afraid to grow older, nor am I ashamed of my age. I look like I’m 22, so for now I love telling people I’m 33 and seeing the shock in their faces. It’s an ego boost. They (don’t ask, because I don’t have a clue who they is) say that your 30s are the best years of your life. When I was 29, I didn’t think that it was possible that life could get any better than it already was. When I turned 30, life became so much better. It just continues to do so every year. I’m not afraid to say that my life is good, and that I’m happy. Now that I’m 33, life is better than ever. On that note, there are some things that I’m afraid I’ll regret from time to time.

I’ll leave you with this; there are so many good days. My 30s have proved to be more than amazing so far. However, we have to be so careful that we don’t get so caught up in living our lives that we forget to really live our lives. I don’t want to enter into my 40s with any regrets, so I make sure that I don’t make the mistakes that so many people before me have made. I listen to their regrets, I hear them and I make sure that they don’t happen to me. Here are some of the biggest regrets that I hear people have when they exit their 30s; let’s make a pact together we not make them.

Work, Work, Work

I won’t lie; I’m a workaholic. I love what I do. I’m up at 5 am every single day to work. I like to get started early when I’m at my most motivated point. I’m always productive and clear first thing in the morning, and I love that. However, there are times when I’m working so hard and in such a work-mode that I might miss out on things with my kids. I might be tempted to think that I wish they’d hurry up showing me their new cheer routine or their new song or dance so that I can get back into my office.

I don’t want to feel like that. I make it a priority now to create a list of work I do each day, prioritize things on that list and I like to be done as early as possible so that the rest of the day can be given to my kids and myself. I need a break every day. I like to spend some quality time with my husband each day, and I want to be present in my kids’ lives. That means I can’t make the mistake of working so much that I miss out on that.

Keeping Up

It’s easy to feel that you have to keep up with people when you are on social media all the time, particularly when you are in your 30s. For me, I sort of bypassed this one because my husband and I did things very early. College, built our first house when we were 20 and 21, got married at 21 and 22, had our first baby at 25, had three more babies by 30 (twins!) and bought our dream house at 31. We traveled the world, we made a lot of money, and we had a good time. We never felt that we had to keep up with anyone because our friends have always been like us in the same places in their lives, and social media wasn’t really around when we started our adult lives.

Now I can see how it’s easy to feel like you need to buy a house, and a luxury car and a second house and travel and keep up by getting married and having babies because you’re in your 30s and everyone else has already done it. Don’t feel like that; live your own life. For every moment you’re wishing you had a husband and a baby, a mom is wishing she had your carefree, fun and fulfilling life (because kids are hard).

Giving Too Much

Sometimes it’s possible to give too much. When you spend so much time giving to your spouse, your kids, your family, schools, and your friends, you don’t have much left to give yourself. You will absolutely remember every single time you did for someone else and neglected yourself as a result. Take time for you. Work out. Join a class. Do something for you. You will never regret giving to yourself, but you will always regret giving so much to everyone else that you don’t have time for you.

Photo by Getty Images

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Written by Tiffany Raiford

Tiffany Raiford is a lifelong Floridian, wife to my high school sweetheart and mother of four littles (two girls and boy/girl twins...no, they are not identical and yes, I'm sure). My kids love to whine, so I love to wine. My loves include nap time, bed time, date night, travel and evenings and weekends when my husband is home because he handles all diaper changes.