The 10 Most Annoying Things That Bridesmaids Say

The 10 Most Annoying Things That Bridesmaids Say

bridesmaids


Bridesmaids; you have to love them. I mean, you don’t have to love them, but you probably do love them since you did ask them to stand up with you on the most important day of your life. These are women that are among the most important people in your life, and they have been there for you – and vice versa – for a long time. They are your best friends, your confidants, and your sisters. They’re the women you would trust with your life, and the women who you can’t imagine living your life without. Yet the moment you get engaged and begin planning your wedding these women become insane and drive you nuts. Or maybe you become insane and imagine that they’re nuts because you’d like to shift the blame elsewhere so that you don’t have to face the harsh reality that you might have gone a little bit off the deep end.

That’s neither here nor there, however. It doesn’t matter who might be a little crazy, who might be a little annoying and who might be driving whom nuts. What matters is that sometimes bridesmaids, crazy or not, say things that are really annoying. And we have 10 of their most annoying comments right here for your reading pleasure.

1. I Wish I Could Help More

Then help more. Don’t say it if you’re not doing it. We get that you’re busy; we are all busy. But nothing is more annoying that listening to someone tell you she’s in the middle of a spa day and she’s so looking forward to sleeping in and going out to meet guys while simultaneously telling you that she’s just so jam packed with stuff she can’t help you with the wedding planning. Sure thing, sister. No one expects you to stop having a life, but if you take on the role, you should do the job.

2. I Wish I Looked Better in my Dress

Your passive aggressive way of telling us that you hate your dress is not lost on brides (do you like how I say us like I’m the bride when I’m about to celebrate my 10th wedding anniversary in less than two months). As a bride, I loved the dresses my bridesmaids picked 10 years ago, and they said they loved them, too (they chose them, so they should). As a former bridesmaid several times over, I’ve liked one dress I’ve paid for. And I can assure you that my mouth stayed closed to the brides about my dislike over the rest.

3. Do you Care if I Bring my New Boyfriend?

Space; when you’re a bride, you get it. If you didn’t get an invite for a plus one, don’t ask for a plus one. It’s not that brides don’t want you to have someone, but space is sometimes very, very limited. And the budget is also a factor; so don’t presume.

4. I Don’t Look Good in that Color

Sorry – brides (mostly) want their friends to feel beautiful, but if they take into account 7 women who all hate a different color, everyone would have to wear a different color or show up nude – and someone would still complain about that (not the groomsmen, FYI). We can’t always have what we want, and it’s not easy on the bride to make everyone happy.

5. Are You Worried about Him at the Bachelor Party?

Most brides worry a little bit, yes. Even with full trust, there is always the thought that he might be too inebriated or too pressured or too whatever to make a good decision that night. And other brides aren’t worried at all, but they don’t need their friends planting seeds of worry in their garden of pre-marital bliss. Just a thought.

6. Okay, So Just One More Time: What’s the Plan for the Day Again?

This is why brides print out time lines and pass them out. This is why other bridesmaids begin thinking the bride has lost her mind. It’s always that one friend who can’t keep it together enough to remember what she has to do and when she has to do it that makes brides go all schedule crazy.

7. Oh, I Can’t be There that Early

Oh, well, when you accepted an invitation to be part of this wedding, you kind of, sort of, maybe accepted an invitation to, you know, BE THERE. So you have to be there. You probably have months – yes MONTHS – worth of notice on hand, so go ahead and just pencil in the bride for that entire day and probably the night before. There; problem solved.

8. I’ll Buy my Dress This Week…

There is a time frame in which you must order that dress so that it arrives in time for the wedding. Additionally, doing this in a timely manner eliminates a bit of stress from the bride, who already has enough stress in her life at the moment. If you are having financial issues, talk to the bride. Let her know. Don’t just keep making empty promises.

9. You Just Want to be Prettier than Me, LOL!

Bridesmaids; remove your shoes and step right on into the shoes of the bride (aren’t they fabulous?). Think about this one: Who do you want to be the most beautiful woman at your wedding? Oh, you? Huh…interesting. Brides don’t want their friends to look atrocious in their wedding, but they do want to be the prettiest one up there. Just a thought.

10. OMG, I’m STILL Hungover

OMG, please, please, please just don’t. First and foremost, you shouldn’t find yourself in a situation in which you are hungover in the first place. We all know that rehearsal dinner is fun and the wine consumption following said dinner when all the ladies are together is also fun, but please be responsible. The bride really does not need to worry about you vomiting on her dress, getting sick or looking a bit green in her wedding photos. And she really does not want to listen to you complain all day long on the day that’s all about her and the love of her life. So get it together, cut yourself off or get going.

Photo by Joe Scarnici/Getty Images for BRIDES
ways to save money on your wedding

71 thoughts on “The 10 Most Annoying Things That Bridesmaids Say”

  1. This all sounds so snotty. It makes me wonder why anyone would ever agree to be a player in someone else’s ridiculous display. What a distortion of the celebration of a couple’s marriage. Ugh.

  2. I feel like I want to vomit. Do people actually get upset about stuff like this? I would never be friends with someone that nasty. I mean the bride’s perspective in the article.

  3. Wow. I hadn’t realized it was such a privilege to be a bridesmaid, even though I’ve done it about a dozen times. I’m really sorry that you find it a strain on your happy day to entertain the thought of dressing your attendants in something that is reasonably flattering for all (yes, those designs exist), reasonably affordable and, God forbid, might conceivably be worn again to another event. By all means, yes, let me spend my money on that dress and the dyed-to-match shoes and the mandatory beauty salon trip, while also funding the expense for your bridal shower AND your lingerie shower AND your pantry shower AND your bachelorette night. Oh, it’s a “destination” wedding? Well, sure, I’ll use up all my vacation days and the downpayment money I was saving for a new car so you can get married in paradise. And I’ll do all this without daring to have an opinion on the mango taffeta dress with the leg-o-mutton sleeves you think is so gorgeous. I’m truly humbled and honored.

    • BTW, the best dress I ever wore as a bridesmaid was universally flattering on the variety of body types among the attendants (and I think there were 10 of us) and we all got to choose the color we thought looked best on us. Mine was a pretty teal color, but there was also an emerald green, a burgundy and so forth. Turned out very lovely. The bride gave great consideration to her crew of ladies and made all of us look our best.

      • For my own wedding I just said, “Wear whatever. Just has to be black or purple or orange or any combination thereof.” It was a Halloween wedding. lol

      • I like both ideas — either pick the color and let bridesmaids choose the style, or pick the style and let them pick the color. I went with the former, because I was able to select a color which was universally flattering, but this isn’t always possible. In professional visual art programs, we are taught to pick one consistent thing. Consistent color is great and allows for freedom in all other areas. Consistent shape is great and allows for freedom in all other areas. There is no real reason to force both, not only because the people involved will feel silly, but also because visually speaking, the effect will most often be a bit jarring — unless everyone in your wedding party looks incredibly similar.

    • Nail. On. The. Head. If I had all the money back that I’ve sunk into a dress, a hotel reservation, a thoughtful gift, the prerequisite pedicure, I’d probably have enough to have my own lavish wedding. This article is snotty. Be considerate of people that are willing to spend their time and money on you and realize that you are a bride, not Queen Elizabeth.

    • funding the expense for your bridal shower AND your lingerie shower AND your pantry shower AND your bachelorette night. ?? Really all these are givens these days? Whew.

        • I paid 50 quid for my dress, 40 quid on the hen day and 20 quid getting there and back. My girls are paying 25 quid for their dress and that’s it. Simple black 50s dress. No salon crap, no hen do, no event other than the wedding and my moh is my mua as well.

          Do not understand brides who go crazy with demands. Been a bridesmaid twice. Shut up and put up on both occassions. Didnt care if I looked horrendous in the dress, not my day.

    • If you don’t want to do it… you can just say no.

      Personally, I was once married, and I picked a color for my bridesmaids which would be flattering for everyone. Once the color was picked, I told them to pick any cut they desired to suit their style. I’m a woman, I know that we’re all self-conscious about our bodyshapes. I wanted everyone to feel pretty and confident, even if a few of my bridesmaids were like supermodel gorgeous and I’m kinda plain in comparison.

      Any bride who wants to cram her bridesmaids into stupid-looking dresses in gross colors deserves to have her friends decline the “honor”.

  4. This is why I refuse to have bridesmaids when I get married. I’m not making my friends my slaves. Wear what you want, show up to party and have a good time. This stupid tradition is out of control.

    • Sans bridesmaid is totally the way to go. It’s not having them as slaves – mine weren’t at all, but you never know when people are just going to bug out. I never asked anything of them and even was ahead of the “pick your own dress trend” 10 years ago (the dress line was the $150 and under line). My 5 bridesmaids were either family or decade+ old friends, and with the exception of one of them, they chose that time to just be at their worst. Everything from the maid of honor OFFERING to throw a shower with my mother-in-law, then stop returning calls, not even RSVP’ing/coming to another bridesmaid almost getting a DUI on the way to the wedding and a whole lot more. And these are people who I love/trusted and had never done anything like this – it was like they were possessed!

  5. I hope this is satire, because it basically comes down to “I’m the bride, I’m the only person that matters in this entire event, you’re only here because I have decided to honor you with this incredible privilege, so Don’t harsh my narcissism or have an opinion”. Wow.

      • Do you believe that is how it should be, or was you statement an ironic tongue in cheek lament that this level of narcissism has become the new norm? If the latter, I’m with you; if the former, I lament your misunderstanding of what it means for two people to come together in marriage in the context of community.

  6. Yup. This entire article sounds like it was written by a bridezilla of epic proportions. You know what’s important at the end of the wedding? That you married your love. That’s it. Nothing else, in the grand scheme of things, matters. Get over yourself, author.

  7. Oh man, THIS. This is why I didn’t have a white wedding. Why do people put themselves under so much pressure? Wear what you want, invite the people you love most and screw everything else.

    • Exactly. I never had an urge to be a princess in a big white dress, etc. I got married in black pants and a black shirt with multicolored polka dots because it makes me happy. Backyard wedding, no band, no especially formal attire, etc. It was about getting married, not having a lavish party and photoshoot where I pretended I was a celebrity.

  8. That is all part of the problem of having a large bridal party. You are not going to be able to make 8 women happy with the same dress. You are also going to end up having people standing in your wedding that just aren’t very emotionally invested in your wedding day.

      • That was my point. People get their cousin that they havn’t spoken to in 5 years to stand in their wedding then act surprised when that person’s life doesn’t revolve around their wedding. I think that is ridiculous. BTW, I was not that sort of bride. I did not make demands of my maids. They were only obligated to buy a dress and show up. Everything else they did because they wanted to.

  9. Listen, Bride of Frankenstein: I’m I’m being asked to shell out $300 for a tacky dress that I will never wear again, upend my schedule for months on end, and give up all my free time for months on end, I’m going to say what I want to say.

  10. Elope..spend all that money an a really memorable honeymoon..forget all the hassle. Is one really expensive and stressfull day better than another week in a fabulous place.?.NO!

    • The way we build a legacy is by sharing some of the best times with our close friends and their friends. Otherwise, we would all become hermits.

  11. Hold on. You expect your bridesmaids to shell out hundreds, sometimes thousands, on bachelorette parties, showers, and ugly dresses they will never wear again for YOUR stupid wedding… But you won’t let them bring dates??? You are the worst, lady.

    • Agreed…wedding etiquette suggests that the bridal party automatically gets a plus one as a courtesy. Obviously that’s”flexible” depending on the couple’s budget. But it is certainly not unreasonable for a bridesmaid to expect a plus one. This has to be the most obnoxious article directed towards bridesmaids!

      • I think it depends. The article says “you have a new boyfriend” if you had no boyfriend when you agreed to be a bridesmaid, and they have already confirmed the number of guests with the caterer, then it is rude to expect a place for your new guy.

        • If we’re talking the day before the wedding, then I agree, you are right! But the wedding party is supposed to be given a plus one, regardless of their relationship status when you ask them. A “new boyfriend” is subjective, too. Did you meet him last night at the bar after the rehearsal dinner? Then FORGET it! LOL! But if you started seeing him a month ago, and the bride knows about it (which she should if you are that special to her that she asked you to be in her wedding), then courtesy and wedding etiquette suggest you allow it. Final headcounts usually go a week to two weeks prior to the caterer. I hear what you’re saying, Amandajean, and you’re right, it does depend. And more and more we are seeing brides move away from traditional etiquette, which is not always a bad thing. But when it comes to the people who are putting out a lot of money to be a part of the day, they should be extended certain courtesies. Ultimately, it’s up to whomever is footing the bill, but if you have no intention of extending a plus one the members of your bridal party who are not in relationships, then it should be made clear very early on.

    • You get the chance to bring a date when you reply with “Plus 1” on the invite. All the tables and labels and plated food are accounted for and to add another after the fact of paying the venue is ridiculous and rude. If you wanted a date to come with you should have put it on your Reply when mailing in the invite. Not a week before.

  12. Meh – this is passive aggressive, if anything. Sounds like the bride dealt with major crap and stress from her bridal party, as did I, so get where she’s coming from. The difference between her and I is that I dealt with it directly, where as they’re going to find out by reading a semi-viral web piece.

    And before you say, “well, you must have been a bridezilla….” Just don’t. Don’t.

  13. Part of the reason I only had one bridesmaid. She could wear whatever she liked and not have to worry about everyone matching. And I never would have dreamed of demanding so much from my bridesmaid and then not inviting her partner. That’s just rude.

  14. “Even with full trust, there is always the thought that he might be too inebriated or too pressured or too whatever to make a good decision that night. And other brides aren’t worried at all, but they don’t need their friends planting seeds of worry in their garden of pre-marital bliss. Just a thought”

    Someone has a different definition of “full trust” than me. If I were sitting around worrying about.. not sure what’s implied here, the guy fooling around with the stripper after one too many? .. I’d rethink the marriage..

    • I think I had fewer ppl at my wedding than she did bridesmaids. 🙂 Courthouse wedding all the way. It was peaceful, serene, not insane, and including a special dress (that I wore again later) flowers, eating out afterwards, getting pics done afterwards, a weekend holiday, the marriage certificate (and coinciding parking ticket) I spent way less than $1000 and was just as married as those that spend $30k

      • i got married like that, twice… my goal was to keep any one category under the cost of the marriage license… we actually found someone to do the ceremony in our living room, because the date we wanted was a Sunday… I think we ended up spending more at the restaurant than the $123 licence –but not that much, for 5 of us…

    • Exactly! The thing that stands out to me is how often bridezilla types refer to their wedding day as “my special day” instead of “our special day”…

  15. Yikes… Is it really acceptable to expect someone to spend hundreds on a dress that you pick out and not let them bring a date? Maybe have fewer maids if you can’t afford the +1.

  16. The ‘I’ll buy my dress this week’ is the most strange – what kind of bride would expect her bridesmaids to pay for the dress….
    I loved being bridesmaid for my friends but would never have done it for someone who was going to be a bridezilla!

      • In the UK it is usual for the couple getting married to buy the dresses for the bridesmaids. We’d find the idea of asking a bridesmaid to pay for a dress she will only wear once for your wedding rather rude. I had a tiny budget for my wedding that wouldn’t stretch to bridesmaid dresses, so I told my adult bridesmaids to wear something nice from their wardrobes. They all wore completely different styles and colours of dress, but they all looked fabulous and felt comfortable, so I was happy.

  17. Ish — all and all.. ish… being a bridesmaid takes a lot of time and money. They are doing you a major favor by participating in YOUR big day… you shouldn’t be surprised if they don’t take it quite as seriously as you do…they aren’t getting married, for cripes sake.

  18. Wow…none of these things were an issue at my wedding, I picked up the dresses which were totally inexpensive, I did my girls hair and nails myself. And totally by accident the Bachelor/ette parties started at different places but ended at the same place. There were a few hiccups due to 1 selfish bridesmaid, and I will totally politely decline if she asks me to be her bridesmaid bc she created drama on my wedding day, I don’t even want to know how she will be on her own! Had a low key/budget wedding in the country highly recommended! …no, there were no cowboy boots, camo, or livestock to be seen, for those who will undoubtedly wonder.

  19. What if the bridesmaid is having weight fluctuations (I had a friend who didn’t know what shape she’d be in for the wedding, thanks to medications? Buy her dress early or have it fit, which is better?

  20. This should be titled “10 most annoying complaints of a bridezilla.” Seriously. Print the timelines? Hello self absorbed product of the “me” generation.

  21. For my big (budget of $1500) wedding, we did not do salons or crazy parties, we had a shower at a relatives and it was lovely. My mom being the amazing person she is made long sleeve lace tunics- really nice lace and we got the girls dark green silk broomstick style skirts and matching dark green silk tank tops (I asked the girls for input on the color too). We knew no one had tons of cash. The dresses were completely reusable in a variety of ways and very flattering. My mom also did the three tier cake with 2 additional tiers with the little bridges in a fine lace pattern (I have a great mom, that cake would have cost more than $1000). We invited tons of guests and had light refreshments because catering was out of the budget (even if we had a small guest list). The wedding dress and the flowers were the most expensive parts. All of the bridezilla stuff is not needed for a gorgeous wedding.– Oh and I had to brag on my mom a bit.

  22. In my case, the wedding wasn’t for my husband and me. It was all about my parents doing exactly what they wanted with the exception of my in-laws choosing the date. I had no say in any of it. I actually didn’t want a wedding, just wanted to get married simply and privately. I had very little money, and chose the least expensive wedding dress I could find, plain white, no lace or whatever, no train. $99 out the door. I had no say in bridal party either. My parents chose my 16 year old sister as my MOH and her dress was just under $800. To this day, I have no idea what was served, what flowers were chosen, or what music was played. My parents chose 4 bridesmaids and told them to wear whatever they wanted. My parents had the first dance, then my father danced with my sister. I did not have my hair “done” or nails “done”, had no makeup (it all was packed up and taken with my parents for my sister to use). There were no speeches or toasts and my in-laws ordered the photographer to take pictures of their family only so I am in no pictures. It was a crap day with crap people (most of whom I didn’t know, only was allowed a very few friends). No one was ordered to do anything or be anywhere at a certain time. There was no rehearsal dinner. There was a plain white cake that my in-laws took the top tier home for themselves. I am divorced now (what a surprise), my family is all dead (couldn’t have happened to nicer people) and it will be a very hot day in January in the Arctic before I will ever consider marriage again. Bottom line to bridezillas from me is, if you care to keep your friends, don’t treat them like your paeons, show respect and gratitude. Skip the “open bar” and sit down dinner service for a simple buffet so people can bring guests if that is what they want to do. And keep in mind that life does continue after a wedding.

  23. So much crap. All these rules and regulations? Who’d want to accept the “honor”? Please. A wedding is supposed to be an affair filled with loved ones and not so much crappy etiquette. And how is anyone going to “try” to not be the most beautiful person there? Are we supposed to show up toothless? Crap. All crap.

  24. “Do you Care if I Bring my New Boyfriend?”

    Sorry, but that is not an unreasonable request. The bride and groom, when making the guest list, should presume that all adult invitees want to bring a guest. No one wants to be solo at an event like this. The couple needs to plan and budget accordingly, ESPECIALLY for their attendants. It’s called good manners.

  25. The article came off as being snobby. 1) Bridesmaids should be able to pick the style of dress or pick the colour since now it is custom that most pay for the dress. 2) Bridesmaids have to fork out a lot of money on some weddings. That being said it is the brides day but no need to be a bridezilla. Balance. If the bride is controlling/ high maintenance.. then decline to be a bridesmaid.

  26. “if you didn’t get an update invite for a plus one, don’t ask for a plus one.”

    If YOU don’t have space for plus ones for your bridal party, invite fewer people. It’s rude to expect ANYONE to be single at a celebration of couplehood.

Leave a Comment