The 10 Most Annoying Wedding Traditions

Wedding


Who doesn’t love a good wedding? If we are all honest, we all enjoy being a guest at a wedding. It’s been 10 years since I exchanged vows with my husband, and as much as I loved being a bride and all that my wedding entailed – I love being a guest so much more than a bride. It’s so much more relaxing, less stressful and much more enjoyable (but I’m already married to the love of my life, so maybe that’s why I feel this way). Being a wedding guest means showing up, enjoying free food, cocktails, cake, dancing and a night out without the kids. But there is one thing that a lot of us might all agree on; some wedding traditions are just plain outdated, old and annoying. I remember shooting daggers at our DJ when he dared to play the Chicken Dance, and there are plenty of other wedding traditions that some people love and adore and others wish would die like the dinosaurs. So what are the most annoying wedding traditions? We can’t speak for all of you, but we do have a list of traditions that the vast majority of wedding guests (and participants) find exceptionally annoying. See if you agree with the masses.

Cake Smashing

Some people love it, but I personally hate this tradition. It’s so annoying and so overrated that it makes me cringe even thinking about it. Let’s point something out for those who clearly aren’t thinking this one through; the bride spends a lot of time, money and effort on her face and hair on her wedding day, so what on earth makes people think she wants that ruined? And to go one step further, most people don’t go around smashing cake in their faces on a regular basis, so why do we expect a bride to do this on her wedding day? Make it stop, please!

Not Seeing the Bride before the Ceremony

While this is something that I was set on during my wedding, I kind of get it. I didn’t want my husband to see me before I walked down the aisle, and a decade later I still wouldn’t. But, this would get the whole photo thing out of the way before the ceremony so we could all just dance and eat and relax a lot faster. So there’s that.

The Bouquet Toss

Having never really being a ‘single’ girl at a wedding after being married at 21, I can tell you that I still have bad feelings about this one. No single woman likes to be called out as being single and forced to go stand in the middle of the room while all the taken people stare at her with pity in their eyes. Add to that the fact that they are all screaming excitedly, “You’re next! Woo-hoo!” like she’s some sort of loser and it just makes it all the worse.

The Dollar Dance

It’s just annoying. Why pay to dance with the bride and groom when you could just write them a check and stick it in a card? It’s tacky and it’s a bit classless, and it’s something that takes the rest of us off the dance floor all night. Of course, as a bride to whom this happened, it was nice to have that extra cash for the honeymoon, but still; it wasn’t my choice and I wouldn’t have done it without my DJ (whom I lovingly refer to still as “He who did not listen to anything I said,”).

The Garter Retrieval

One word: Awkward. I’m not even going to elaborate further than saying that no one needs to see a groom heading up his new bride’s dress while on display like a stripper. Just saying.

The Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties

This one is mixed; some love them and some hate them. It’s fine – I don’t care how you feel. I’ll tell you how many adults view this, though. You’re getting married, so why do you want to spend a night away from the person you love and want to spend the rest of your life with celebrating your last night as a single person doing things that are literally only acceptable when you have a piece of tulle on your head and a sash around your neck? Why not get together as a couple with your couple friends and head off for a long weekend of golf, spa treatments, shopping, fun and enjoyment, great meals, good wine and great company? It sounds like a lot more fun to me (and most people I know).

Wedding Favors

You waste time and money making them and buying them, and you know from the start no one is actually going to keep theirs or use it. They’re just going to let it sit in the junk drawer until the next time it’s in need of a good cleaning and then it’s straight to the trash.

Only the Bride can wear White

Some men and women think this is very important, but I don’t. In fact, I think that it’s difficult to dress for a wedding when you’re wondering if a few white stripes or a white top are going to make you the bride’s new nemesis. As long as you don’t wear a white wedding gown to someone else’s wedding, I vote we ditch this annoying tradition.

Dad Walks You Down the Aisle

I loved the fact that my dad walked me down the aisle, but I wish I would have asked my mom to walk with. Who says she can’t? I wish I could have had both my parents walk me down the aisle, and I think we should stop telling brides that this is daddy’s job. It’s the job of whomever she wants, if she even wants to be escorted down the aisle in the first place. She might want that moment all to herself.

Asking Future In-Laws to be in the Wedding Party

So many in-laws expect this, and it’s just not right. Some people don’t care for their future in-laws, some people like them just fine but don’t want them in their wedding and some people love theirs and wouldn’t want to exclude them. Let’s just do whatever makes us happy and call it a day without people asking why your future sister-in-law isn’t a bridesmaid (because you live 7,000 miles apart and have met three times in the past 5 years, maybe?).

Photo by Elisabetta Villa/Getty Images

5 thoughts on “The 10 Most Annoying Wedding Traditions”

  1. I’ve never heard about the “dollar dance”; that must be a regional thing. But I’ve hidden in the ladies room at several weddings to avoid fighting for the bouquet!

  2. Um, “future in laws”… does that mean the groom’s family? Interesting. I vote we drop the “the Wedding is all about the bride” tradition. He’s getting married too. Shoot, my brother was the best man in our wedding, his brother was a groomsman. (My husband and brother are obviously close friends.)
    I refused to plan the entire thing and just “tell him what to wear, where to go and what time”. He was getting married too. The wedding and reception were a celebration of US, not me.

  3. It sounds like you might enjoy thumbing through the Offbeat Bride blog. The blog shares a lot of ways to buck tradition, both practical and whimsical. There’s discussion of everything from taking pictures of the groom getting ready to dealing with pesky vendors. It also shows examples of people who stopped whining about traditions they didn’t like and actively bucked them.

  4. The 10 Things I Hated Most About My Own Wedding But Did Anyway For Some Reason.

    Also re: bachelor(ette) parties: the joint thing is fun and all, but some people like the segregated silliness, especially since it’s the guests and not the betrothed who get in the most trouble. Also, if you can’t handle one night of partying without “the person you love most in the world” you need to get a grip.

  5. That dollar dance is Polish or Italian or something and is weird and do breeders really stare at single women with pity in their eyes? And that bachelor party nonsense about the love of your life? Gag me. Future in-laws? Well, they are your spouse’s family. I think you should have eloped with your mommy.

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