Tiffany Raiford
The gross desire to be politically correct at all times has overtaken our nation, and it’s hurting us. Additionally, the belief that our kids are perfect and ‘would never’ is killing us. I’ve already told everyone closest to me that the day I become one of those, “My child would never…” parents, to please punch me right in the face and wake me up. My kids would; they have, and they will. There are times, of course, when I know my kids will not be the guilty party, and my gut instinct will help me in those situations. But when my kids are wrong, they will make it right. I come from a family filled with teachers. Three of the people closest to me in my life are teachers (my mother, my aunt and my cousin) and all have been teachers for over a decade (3 decades, 2 decades and 1 decade to be precise) and I’ve heard the stories. I know; I know that teachers can’t say what they want to say – and what they probably need to say – since they’ll lose their jobs for being honest.
I know that teachers cannot do what needs to be done in the classroom when a child misbehaves because they are scared. I know that parents are quick to blame anyone but their kids. I know that no one is perfect, but I also know that for people who get very little money yet spend just about every waking moment of their lives dedicated to their jobs that teachers have very little power. With that said, if you have kids going into high school, your child’s teachers want you to know a few things. They can’t – or won’t – tell you, but they want you to know. They want you to know for many reasons; these reasons include safety and productivity, and they are important to your kids’ futures, so listen up parents.
Be present
Your child’s high school teachers need you to be present. They need you to stay on top of your kids, to make sure they’re doing what they need to be doing and to set boundaries. They don’t expect your life to revolve around your kids, but they do expect you to meet them, to attend functions and to always be present in your kids’ lives even as they grow up and you think that they need to learn responsibility on their own.
Be upfront
When you have an issue, please tell the teachers. Your child’s teachers need to know what is going on in your child’s life that might affect her abilities in the classroom. Is your child living in a household where a divorce or remarriage is occurring? Is someone in the family ill? Is there something going on that might affect the way in which your child performs in school? If there is, you need to be upfront with the teacher. You can work together.
Please keep your kids’ social media accounts in your line of sight
If there is one thing that high school teachers know, it’s how high schoolers behave. They know far more than you, as a parent, will ever know. Go ahead and scoff, but trust me; you will never know as much about your child as his or her teacher. Be in the know; keep those accounts monitored. Teachers will tell you right now that it is the most important thing you can do as a parent. It could save their lives.
Let teachers do their jobs
You’re a parent, so do your job. Let teachers do theirs. Your child’s teacher is not trying to be a parent, but they do need you to stop trying to be a teacher. Do what you do as a parent and let teachers do what they think is best for your children in their classroom. They are trained to do this.
Stand up for what you believe is wrong, but accept what is right
If your child is accused of something, accuses someone of something or something to that effect, listen. If you believe that something is happening or has happened even if no one else believes your child, do your best to stand up for your child. However, when there is irrefutable proof that your child is lying or covering for someone, accept that he or she is not perfect and deal with the situation appropriately. I’m a mother; I don’t like to believe my kids are capable of certain things, but I also know they are. And I also have a gut feeling about certain things that has never once failed me.
We are a team
You, your kids’ teachers; you are a team. You work together to make sure your kids get what they need out of their education so that they can become the most amazing adults you know. Keep this in mind and your kids’ high school career will be a good one.
Respect is a two-way street
You want your child’s teacher to respect you, but you have to do the same. If you feel that your child’s teacher ‘works’ for you, you’re not going to make friends very quickly. Teachers are not people who deserve disrespect, nor are they glorified babysitters.
Your child is not my only student
Please, parents; remember this. High school teachers have hundreds of students a day in their classrooms, and yours is not their only student. Please remember this and behave accordingly. It is not up to the teachers to parent your kids. It is up to them to educate your kids. Please let them do their jobs so that we can all have that kind of respect in the classroom.
You have no idea what’s happening here
Parents are blissfully unaware of so many things, even when they think that they know everything. Trust them when they say you have no idea what’s happening in schools right now. Your precious angel might be going through something you never once imagined, and that you will very likely never know about. For example, one of my closest teacher friends once caught her 6th grade students – several girls – selling oral sex to boys for $20 a shot. They’d made several hundred dollars by the time they were caught – and I mean caught. Their parents had no idea, and some even went so far as to deny that their kids would do something of this nature, even though they were literally caught in the act.
Set a good example
Your kids will mimic your behavior, so make it good. Make education a priority. Make them sit down and do their homework. Be there for them, help them and make sure to talk to your teachers when there is an issue. If you have questions, call the teacher. If you aren’t sure how something is to be done, ask. It will show your kids that it’s all right not to know or understand everything, and it makes a teacher’s job much easier.
Photo by Jeff J Mitchell/Getty Images
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