Tiffany Raiford
Boys with long hair – sometimes cute and sometimes silly, and absolutely not for me and my son. Okay, so my reasons are a bit selfish. After having two little girls we were ready for baby number three (with high hopes that it would be a boy) and we were surprised and blessed with a little boy…and a little girl. With three girls and myself living in our household, there is plenty of long hair; we go through conditioner, hair ties and detangling spray like no one’s business. I unwrap enough long hair from around baby toes and fingers as it is, and adding one more head of long hair to the mix is a no go. Also – I have three girls and I’d like for my boy to be all boy for a nice little change (and because it’s only fair to my husband who is so grossly outnumbered). So while my reasons for saying no way to my son having long hair are mostly superficial, there is an ongoing argument over whether or not it’s a good look or a fashion faux pas.
It’s a personal decision, really. I have two friends with little boys with long hair and they are all cute as a button, darling and absolutely perfect with their long blonde locks. But it’s not for my son, and that’s just personal. It’s a basic human right to do with your hair what you please, and I’m fine with that; but read on to find out why my son will not have long hair so long as he lives in my home (and yes, my daughters have long hair).
He’ll Look like a Girl
At the end of the day, my little boy is not going to look like a little girl. I have three girls already, I don’t want a fourth. I want a little boy that looks like a little boy, and I’ll draw the line at him growing out his hair in a ridiculous One Direction hipster look – it’s not for me and I’m certainly going to go double standard here and say that I don’t care if my girls have long hair, but my son won’t. Additionally, there’s a significant increase in teasing when it comes to little boys with long hair. Take 8-year-old Christian McPhilamy for example. He spent two years growing out his hair to donate it to charity and he was ridiculed endlessly for it, according to his mother. It’s not for my son (though I feel an enormous amount of pride for this little boy for not caring what people said to him).
Hair Safety in Sports
Okay, so you’re about to point out that my daughters can have long hair and play sports, but my son can’t. I get it; but just listen. Girls tend not to play contact sports so much as boys. Chances are pretty good my daughters will not decide to play football though if they did, I’d worry about their hair. According to the NFL, the horse collar tackle is one in which an opposing player grabs another player by the back of his shoulder pads and drags him down. Imagine that occurring to a boy with long hair – the pain would be excruciating and it could be potentially dangerous. Despite the ban on this tackle – it still happens – and NFL regulations do not make it illegal to grab another player by the hair. If my son plays football, I’m not about to let him become a danger to himself with long hair free for the grab.
I’m Already Taking Care of so much Long Hair
Superficial: I have three girls and myself in my house, and that means I’m taking care of long hair all the time. I vacuum and sweep so much hair off our floors that it’s not even remotely humorous and it’s something I just don’t want to add to.
Let’s Talk about Lice
Lice is an issue for all people with hair in general, but I can spot it faster and treat it more effectively in a little boy with short hair than I can a little boy with long hair. Lice affect as many as 6 to 12 million children each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control. With three girls at home, I’m all too happy to keep at least some of the people in this house with short hair so we can minimize the risk factors.
Let’s Talk about Hygiene
Boys are notoriously less concerned with their personal hygiene, and it can have a negative effect on the way other kids view them as well as their skin. According to Tanya Remer Altmann, MD, Pediatrician for WebMD, kids less concerned with personal hygiene are more likely to skip washing their hair regularly. Knowing how much my son already hates to be bathed, I’m concerned. According to the pediatrician, if he chooses not to wash his hair regularly, he could suffer form an unpleasant smell and it could cause his hair to become oily and cause acne breakouts. Why not avoid that?
Kids are Bullies
We all know it; and it’s true. Until adults teach their kids to leave others alone and stop teasing and ridiculing people for their look just because it’s different, it’s a problem. Kids are at a disadvantage far more today than they were when I was a child with the bravery that comes from hiding behind a computer screen and taking bullying to a cyber level as well as a personal level. I’ll do whatever it takes to protect my son from bullies, including keeping his hair short.
I Like a Clean Cut Look
It’s true; I am a woman who prefers the look of a clean cut man, and I want my son to embody and embrace the clean cut, All-American look, regardless whether or not that is a total stereotype.
Stereotypes are a real Problem
Like I mentioned above, the All-American look is a stereotype, but I’m okay with that one. I don’t want my son stereotyped as an addict or a ‘loser’ or a hippie or something of that nature. I remember how we did that when I was in school, and I kids are cruel. It’s not fair and it’s not kind, but it’s reality.
I don’t want him Labeled as She
I get enough of that as it is with three girls, and my son being a twin. People fail to see that his car seat is green and that he has blue clothes on. They see two blonde-hair, blue-eyed girls and they see two babies in a stroller and both have blonde hair and blue eyes and they immediately assume they are twin girls. It’s annoying enough now, I can’t even imagine how annoying it will be for him later in life when people assume he is his sister’s twin sister.
His Hair is not his Identity
According to Brenna Hicks, licensed child therapist and “The Kid Counselor,” children learn to identify themselves and build upon their identity based on what others say to and about them. For example, if you label your daughter as shy, she’s significantly more likely to become a shy child. The same goes for intellectual, class-clown, loser, liar, wimp, bully…you label a child enough in front of them, and that’s what you get. And that’s why my son will not have long hair. I do not want him labeled throughout his most formative years as “the boy with long hair,” as it is not his identity. He’s not going to grow up thinking that his hair is the most important thing about him, or feeling lost without it. He’s just not.
Photo by Christopher Polk/Getty Images for KCA
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